ChanomiTalk

(I apologize in advance if my bluntness offends you. I’ll buy you a beer sometime.)

So last week I got to talking with one of my neighbors, who had me listen to a sales pitch of his and critique him. I gave him some simple advice about being a more sympathetic listener, but somehow this caused him to bubble over with praise for my intelligence and keen mind. He said he wanted to get to know me more and gave me some tickets for an event related to his company, ACN.

Now, I’m not typically swayed by flattery. When people have great things to say about me, they often have an ulterior motive. I’ve also encountered people who were dazzled by my intellect simply because they just weren’t that bright. This time, I might have been swayed a little. I thought hanging out with a new friend might be worthwhile, and it seemed like he was crafting himself into my protege, which would have been interesting. I was also intrigued by this company’s expansion into Japan as a job prospect.

Of course, there ended up being an ulterior motive. It turns out that ACN is a multi-level marketing company. MLM companies build chains of sales reps to gain a wide distribution base without spending on advertising. The business model itself is not unethical as long as the end result is a product that is sold to provide the bulk of the revenue for the company. However, people are greedy. It is so much easier to gain money directly from new recruits paying fees or buying product that this almost always ends up being the primary goal, meaning most MLM companies are just legal pyramid schemes. My neighbor was, of course, trying to recruit me as a step towards constructing a pyramid of hapless recruits under him that would pump money his way.

At this point you can tell I ended up turning my back on this “opportunity” to do business in Japan. However, I did enter the event with an open mind. I’ve encountered a few MLM sales reps that didn’t strike me as slimy, and whose products seemed reasonable. ACN seems to offer quality products related to telecommunications and utilities, and I entered the event not knowing much about it, thinking I might be able to learn something. All I learned were a bunch of fabulous reasons I should join them.

One of the first things I noticed was the atmosphere of greed pulsing through the room. Everything was focused on money. People were entranced. They all looked like they had little schemes going in their heads. As I watched the way people responded to the speakers on stage, nodding, agreeing, and shouting praise, it struck me suddenly that this event was a sermon, and the company a religion. The resemblance was uncanny. The goal of a religion is to gain followers, and the promise is that if you have faith and believe, there will be heaven waiting at the end. All religions have intricate scaffolds of justification for your belief, and usually claim theirs is the one true religion, the others just pretenders. As I sat there in the seething crowd, I saw precisely these things presented before me. There was a lot there to build your belief, and very little to explain what to do with it besides a contract that signed away $499 of your money.

It’s things like this that make me proud to be an atheist. The religious are always trying to sell us something that sounds great even though it seems ridiculous, and we diligent atheists must make sure we see through it all. So, this was nothing new for me, and I’m moving on. Others at the ACN event weren’t so lucky. Many of them were accustomed to faith, and so believing would have felt natural and good to them. A lot of people have been converted, and they will go forth to spread the good word.

As for me, I’m back at home looking for a non-pyramid job. I still might hang out with my neighbor again sometime, assuming he was interested in me as something more than a potential recruit. I’m curious to see how his faith plays out. The problem with his MLM church is that he’s still going to be alive once it turns out heaven doesn’t really exist.

Back in the ’60s, driving on the Old Pali road was very dangerous and scary.  Now only portions of it still exists since they made the new Lookout and Tunnels below. When strong winds or bad weather persisted, many would avoid driving there, for fear of their car being tipped over or not being able to see the road.  You could lean into the wind at a 45 degree angle to the ground and not fall! But most of all, it is said to be true, that you can’t take raw pork over the old road for fear that the engine would die and your car will just stop. It just stops, all by itself and will not start up again, no matter how hard you try. You must throw the pork over the Pali cliffs as an offering to the dead spirits, before they will let you pass.

The Pali is a famous battle ground of King Kamehameha.  It’s where he defeated his conquering enemies by pushing them over the Pali Cliffs to their death. That is why, at night, it’s very scary to sit in your car, hear the howling wind, and imagine hearing voices, or tell each other about ghost stories while up there.  During the day, it all looks quite harmless, especially with all the hoards of people around.  But if you were up there alone or with just a friend it does give you chicken skin and you may get an erry feeling behind you.

These boys I knew in school, were drinking beer and got drunk up there one  weekend.  They were playing around and walking on the old stone wall cliffs. Showing how brave they were with the sheer drop of the cliff on the other side of the wall. Bragging, they could still walk straight and balance even if they were drunk and could barely see in the dark.  Then one of them slipped off and fell over. The rest ran to the spot and looked over the wall but it was pitch black, there were no lights there to see and they yelled to their friend, with no answer. Finally, they sat back down discussing what to do…… when up comes their friend climbing over the wall and dusting off the leaves and twigs saying, “ whoa, I almost died, lucky I fell on one branch or tree!”  Then they all started to laugh and kid each other about the ordeal, with  great relief, he was still alive!!

In Japan, when you think summer, you ostensibly think… marathon TV, right?  Who needs festivals when you have a 27-hour TV marathon and a 24-hour TV marathon to entertain you.  It’s more than Jerry Lewis could have wished for.  It’s live TV throughout, plus they get one celebrity to run a 100 km marathon during the broadcast.  Whether he or she will arrive before the end of the TV marathon is always in doubt.  So, what’s the difference?  The 27-hour marathon is done just for fun.  No charity, just raking in the advertising dough, exploiting as much of its celebrities as possible.  This year, they tied it in with the 30th anniversary of talent Tamori (Kazuyoshi Morita).  The 24-hour marathon is for charity.  They even have a special song they sing at the end every year, preferably along with their dead-tired celebrity marathon runner.  The song itself was written during a previous 24-hour marathon and is quite famous (title: Sarai).  So forget the summer festivals and fireworks.  Avoid the heat and humidity.  Don’t fatten yourself up on festival yakisoba, okonomiyaki, kaki-gori and beer.  Stay inside with your air-conditioner and TV set.  Because it’s marathon time.

I often get asked why I choose to wear my hair…uhhh…no hair, why I chose to be bald. and most recently why I have chosen to grow a beard.  Well both come with many answers and preferences. Which I will share now. Well, about being bald, many many years ago I wore many different hairstyles and I even changed them almost once a year, that is, until my last hairstyle until now. I grew it long enough to where it was past my shoulders and then decided to dreadlock it. I thought it would look really cool.and it did. 🙂 Unfortunately, during that process I damaged my hair directly at the root, and It stopped drowing well on certain parts of my hair because of that choice. I had always said, “If I ever started balding I am just gonna shave the whole thing off” because I didn’t wanna be one of those guys with the half moon going around the sides, or doing the “comb over”, or the big blank spot at the back of my head. So it’s been about 10 years since that happened and I have worn a bald hairdo since. And honestly, it’s become preferred. No more are the days spending 10 or 20 minutes managing hairstyles. Now I just get up and my day begins the second I jump out of bed. No fussing around anymore. Though, from time to time whilst shaving my head I tend to take chunks of my scalp off the top by aggressively shaving. And that is all I have to say about that.

 About my beard, well, for the last 8 years I had to work for a company that had strict facial hair policies I can’t say I agreed with. I don’t think anyone company should have the right to say how someone is grooming, save working in the food business. So when I finally quit my last job I have finally been able to grow facial hair and intend to grow it until I feel it’s time to shave it off. I must also mention, I am also influenced to have a beard by hero of mine, Darrell Lance Abbot also known as Dimebag Darrell, he had one of the most awesome beards I have ever seen. Will I grow it that long. Only time will tell. 🙂