When I first read about Yukiyo’s experiences, I thought they sounded like a TV episode. I did my best to capture the drama and emotion of the story below. 幸代さん、ありがとう!



lift my head
wear a smile and enter
the next room


Those who work at the hospital must bear witness every day to battles of life and death. When we see patients recovering, we are overjoyed. Yet, there are also patients who take turns for the worse, and those who suddenly meet their end.

In my first year at the hospital, a patient under my care suddenly went critical. The CPR was having no effect, and I couldn’t bear to leave the room as I watched the life leave his body.

That was when another, older hospital worker scolded me suddenly. He said, “I get that you’re in shock, but there are other patients here! Is this why you’re here? To grieve and show sorrow? Go and do your job!”

I was taken aback. But, I was somehow able to yank the sorrow from my heart and shove it to the side. I finished my shift, and only then did I allow myself to face it once again.

Even now, there are times I find unbearable. Nevertheless, there are always others that depend on me. I think back to the day when I got that wise scolding, and I move on to the next patient’s bedside.

Yukiyo Fujisaki
English by Chay Schiller