What I have anticipated and tried to ignore has come to pass. My patient and good friend has died. This morning I woke up wondering how much time I had before I had to get out of bed to visit him and was met with a text message from his wife. “He died this morning at 1:00”. As much as I mourned the coming of his death and spilled many tears, when I read the message I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even shed a tear. A knot formed in my throat and my head began to ache, but I couldn’t cry. Even as I write this message I don’t feel anything. I’m just empty.

I remember past days of laughter and good times and all of the experiences that I had with John. His wife was always so protective of her husband. She expressed her love for him in so many ways. We all had a close relationship. Now he’s gone. I knew he would eventually leave us. As he lay in his hospital bed I watched as he fought for breath and clung to life. I hated what I was seeing. We brought him home and I watched as death tried to take him. John fought with every ounce of strength he could muster. But he left us and I wasn’t there to see him off. He’s not coming back. It hurts.

Whoever is reading this message, please take time to love on those who are still with you, and let them know how much you care for them. Love is all that matters.