I won’t lose to myself.

How are you? I passed the National Exam without incident, and I am working in a hospital as a nurse. Everything is new to me; I don’t have enough knowledge or technical skill. And this is the place where we are entrusted with peoples’ lives, so every day I do my best while nervously panicking. Just yesterday, someone got mad at me. Now, I want to do my best without thinking about how many times people have gotten mad at me.

I won’t lose to myself

My cowardly self, my spoiled self, my dependent self, my compromising self, my deceitful and lying self…

I feel like I will be swept away by all these weak selves. However, if I face them and stand firm and unyielding, I will surely be able to see a new light.

お元気ですか? 私は国家試験も無事合格し、看護師として病院に勤めています。慣れないことばかり、知識不足、技術不足、そして命を預かっている現場ということで、毎日、緊張し、パニックになりながらも頑張っています。昨日もいろいろと怒られました・・・。 今は、怒られてナンボと考えて、へこたれず頑張りたいと思います。
 
「自分に負けんなっ!」
 
逃げる自分、甘える自分、人のせいにする自分、妥協する自分、隠そうと嘘をつく自分・・・ いろんな弱い自分に流されそうになる。でも、そこで負けじと踏みとどまって向かっていったら、きっと目の前に新たな光が見えてくると思う。
 

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