My three weeks of internship in psychiatric nursing came to an uneventful close. In this internship, I was in charge of a schizophrenia case who had lost touch with reality and talked to himself in a loud voice. In the beginning, the patient absolutely refused to have an intern. As soon as he found out I was an intern he yelled, "No need!" Because of that, I devoted myself to spending time with him, silently praying that he would let me stay beside him.

One day, when I had to bathe him, as I was drying his hair, I hear the words, "thank you…" I was so happy I could have cried. With this, compared to how it was in the beginning, it seemed that the patient had come to accept me. I honestly don’t know what good I did that person as his nurse, but I was able to learn a lot from our interaction.

I learned to respect the patient’s pace. I learned that, depending on the patient, there are many ways to interact with them, from active conversation to silent communication. I learned that, even people with mental illnesses have feelings. I learned that we have too many prejudices. I learned how much I have been blessed by people and my surroundings. I learned all kinds of other things, as well. In particular, I feel that focusing on the patient’s feelings and respecting the patient’s pace are the heart of nursing. It was an internship that, even though it was difficult, it deepened my outlook as a nurse.
 
 
精神看護は看護の原点

３週間の精神看護実習を無事終えることができた。この実習では、統合失調症で、妄想やそれによる大声での独り言が多い方を受け持たせていただいた。最初の内は、断固、学生（実習生）拒否。私の存在を確認するなり、「用はない！」と叫ばれた。その為、ただひたすらその方の傍にいさせてもらい、無言を守り、時間を共有することに徹した。

ある日、その方のお風呂のお世話をし、ドライヤーで髪を乾かした時、「ありがとう」の言葉が・・・　嬉しさのあまり泣きそうになった。そんなこんなで、最初に較べて患者さんは、私を受け入れてくれたようだった。その方に看護師の立場として何ができたかは、正直分からないが、私はその方との関わりの中で多くのことを学ぶことができた。

患者さんのペースを大事にすること。患者さんによって関わり方にも、積極的な会話、反対に沈黙のコミュニケーションといったように様々な方法があること。精神疾患を持った方にも必ず感情があるということ。私達は偏見を持ち過ぎているということ。自分がどれだけ人にも環境にも恵まれて生きてきたかということ。他にも様々なことを学ぶことができた。特に患者さんの気持ちに焦点を当てること、患者さんのペースを守ることは、看護の原点だと感じた。私の看護観を深める難しくも充実した実習だった。